Over the weekend I was asked to comment on my views of married men and their infidelity. I told them that I was against infidelity. ;-)
They are, of course, referring to the recent news stories of Gov. Mark Sanford and of the pro golfer Tiger Woods. I could also throw into this mix LA Lakers player Kobe Bryant. As for Sanford, that guy is an idiot, and the good citizens of that state should have had him thrown out of a moving train. To say that the woman in South America was his "soul mate" made me gag. Geez! What a thoughtless, insensitive clod to say something like that and not refer to his wife! I wanted to smack him silly with hockey stick, but I didn't want to mess up a good hockey stick.
As for Tiger - sheesh! Just like Kobe, Tiger has a hot chick for a wife, so there was no reason for him to be fooling around. If I were her, I would have wielded TWO clubs to double her chances of hitting the bastard!
The question asked of me was actually more specific, asking about why men fool around. I think the more pertinent question is why the women they fool around with fool around with them in the instance that they know that this dude is already married. "It takes two to tango" and all that.
Let's hit this from the angle of the dude first. It seems to me that this unfaithful dude should have dealt with his sexual control issues before he got married. If he wants to hop beds with different women every night, then he should do that when he isn't already married to someone else. Before I continue, understand that I am in no way encouraging you dudes to engage in pre-marital promiscuity - I discourage that actually, for many different reasons. I'm just thinking out loud here, so just follow along and don't stick words in my mouth.
What I AM saying is this: You dudes need to work out your sexual control issues BEFORE getting married. Betraying one's marital vows is a terrible thing to do, whether it's the wife or husband doing the betraying. And it's called "betraying" for a reason - you were asked to be faithful to your spouse; that's why they are called vows! Control of your sexual urges is one of the things you work on when you are growing up. Theoretically, by the time you are getting married, you should have your sexual control issues resolved by taking a spouse, and not by taking multiple partners AFTER taking a spouse.
It's also an important lesson for us all on knowing and understanding what marriage is supposed to be about. Our society in recent decades has taken on an attitude of marriage being just for sex, and when the sex gets boring, you divorce and find another partner until you get bored with that partner - and then another, and another and another until such time that you arrive at an understanding in which you either find the spouse you'll spend what remaining years of your life with, or you get to the point that you say "Marriage is too confining. I should just keep my options open".
By the way, grats to the baby boomers for helping bring such kookoo ideas of marriage, and for making multiple marriages and divorces and endless supplies of half-siblings and step-siblings the norm, and for introducing such ideas as "no-fault" divorce in which the guilty spouse gets away with their betrayal, and could even possibly end up getting everything, and for their famous toxic custody battles, and all the fun and joy your brought to your kids as a result.
For a generation famous for "self gratification" and "instant gratification", I sure hope you got what you wanted, because you sure pissed on the rest of us, and you will continue to piss on the rest of us with all the debt you passed on to your kids and grandkids. I just hope it was all worth the crap you dumped on the rest of us to solve. But that would mean feeling guilty for what you have done, and as we all know, you just can't have that. Hell, take that up with your therapist - I don't give a damn.
Boy, did I digress! LOL Back to the topic!
Let's discuss the ladies for whom the philandering men take up with. Now here I'm not so much referring to the women for whom they didn't know that their love interest was married, but rather to those who DO know that their love interest is married, and get involved with the two-timer anyway.
So why would a woman do such a thing? Reasons are varied as the women themselves, but largely they fall into a few reasons: 1.) They think they are in love and really believe that "their" man loves them back, and she just has to wait out until he divorces his wife so that they can be together forever, 2.) They are starstruck that a Tiger Woods or a Mark Sanford would lavish their attention on them, or 3.) They're out to hit the "bedsheet lotto", either by threatening to tell all to the wife, or by intentionally becoming pregnant so as to "trap" the clueless dude into supporting her and her child (think of amazingly and even startlingly naive Dirk Nowitzki). Let's tackle these in order.
1.) Such women are usually "in love with being in love", and love can make you do stupid things. But a little - not even a smidgen - of common sense should tell you that if he can fool around on his wife, what's to stop him from doing the same to you once he divorces his wife and marries you? After all, how do you know that his current wife is his first wife? A philanderer who can philander once will most assuredly do so again. It's as certain as the sun rising tomorrow.
2.) Being starstruck is no excuse for fooling around with a married man. Are there such male celebrities that I would consider fooling around with should they look my way. No, and I mean that. I would hate the attention that comes with being known as "Mr. X's lover". Some women do indeed desire the attention that comes from being noticed by a male celebrity, but their reputation takes a beating. Think of Monica Lewinski. Any of you have favorable impressions of her? I think not.
3.) And then there are the women out to score a quick and easy buck by blackmail or by pregnancy. I liken these women to whores, because that's exactly what they are doing: Selling themselves for money. Why would they debase themselves in such a way? The reasons vary, of course, but like those who want to win the "lawsuit lotto", they want a lot of fast and easy money. As you might imagine, I have zero respect for such women. Thanks for setting back women's progess 100 years, ladies!
We as a gender will continue to retard, stop, and even reverse our progress in recent decades if we can't respect ourselves, and part of respecting ourselves is to not get involved with a man whom we know is married. There ARE no good excuses for fooling around men who would cheat on their wives - and worse, women who get involved with such men are as guilty as the men. There is no love involved with a spouse cheats, no matter what the guilty parties may think - plain and simply, it's just people using each other for their own selfish needs, and someone ALWAYS gets hurt as a result. Funny that that thought never occurs to the guilty parties.
They are, of course, referring to the recent news stories of Gov. Mark Sanford and of the pro golfer Tiger Woods. I could also throw into this mix LA Lakers player Kobe Bryant. As for Sanford, that guy is an idiot, and the good citizens of that state should have had him thrown out of a moving train. To say that the woman in South America was his "soul mate" made me gag. Geez! What a thoughtless, insensitive clod to say something like that and not refer to his wife! I wanted to smack him silly with hockey stick, but I didn't want to mess up a good hockey stick.
As for Tiger - sheesh! Just like Kobe, Tiger has a hot chick for a wife, so there was no reason for him to be fooling around. If I were her, I would have wielded TWO clubs to double her chances of hitting the bastard!
The question asked of me was actually more specific, asking about why men fool around. I think the more pertinent question is why the women they fool around with fool around with them in the instance that they know that this dude is already married. "It takes two to tango" and all that.
Let's hit this from the angle of the dude first. It seems to me that this unfaithful dude should have dealt with his sexual control issues before he got married. If he wants to hop beds with different women every night, then he should do that when he isn't already married to someone else. Before I continue, understand that I am in no way encouraging you dudes to engage in pre-marital promiscuity - I discourage that actually, for many different reasons. I'm just thinking out loud here, so just follow along and don't stick words in my mouth.
What I AM saying is this: You dudes need to work out your sexual control issues BEFORE getting married. Betraying one's marital vows is a terrible thing to do, whether it's the wife or husband doing the betraying. And it's called "betraying" for a reason - you were asked to be faithful to your spouse; that's why they are called vows! Control of your sexual urges is one of the things you work on when you are growing up. Theoretically, by the time you are getting married, you should have your sexual control issues resolved by taking a spouse, and not by taking multiple partners AFTER taking a spouse.
It's also an important lesson for us all on knowing and understanding what marriage is supposed to be about. Our society in recent decades has taken on an attitude of marriage being just for sex, and when the sex gets boring, you divorce and find another partner until you get bored with that partner - and then another, and another and another until such time that you arrive at an understanding in which you either find the spouse you'll spend what remaining years of your life with, or you get to the point that you say "Marriage is too confining. I should just keep my options open".
By the way, grats to the baby boomers for helping bring such kookoo ideas of marriage, and for making multiple marriages and divorces and endless supplies of half-siblings and step-siblings the norm, and for introducing such ideas as "no-fault" divorce in which the guilty spouse gets away with their betrayal, and could even possibly end up getting everything, and for their famous toxic custody battles, and all the fun and joy your brought to your kids as a result.
For a generation famous for "self gratification" and "instant gratification", I sure hope you got what you wanted, because you sure pissed on the rest of us, and you will continue to piss on the rest of us with all the debt you passed on to your kids and grandkids. I just hope it was all worth the crap you dumped on the rest of us to solve. But that would mean feeling guilty for what you have done, and as we all know, you just can't have that. Hell, take that up with your therapist - I don't give a damn.
Boy, did I digress! LOL Back to the topic!
Let's discuss the ladies for whom the philandering men take up with. Now here I'm not so much referring to the women for whom they didn't know that their love interest was married, but rather to those who DO know that their love interest is married, and get involved with the two-timer anyway.
So why would a woman do such a thing? Reasons are varied as the women themselves, but largely they fall into a few reasons: 1.) They think they are in love and really believe that "their" man loves them back, and she just has to wait out until he divorces his wife so that they can be together forever, 2.) They are starstruck that a Tiger Woods or a Mark Sanford would lavish their attention on them, or 3.) They're out to hit the "bedsheet lotto", either by threatening to tell all to the wife, or by intentionally becoming pregnant so as to "trap" the clueless dude into supporting her and her child (think of amazingly and even startlingly naive Dirk Nowitzki). Let's tackle these in order.
1.) Such women are usually "in love with being in love", and love can make you do stupid things. But a little - not even a smidgen - of common sense should tell you that if he can fool around on his wife, what's to stop him from doing the same to you once he divorces his wife and marries you? After all, how do you know that his current wife is his first wife? A philanderer who can philander once will most assuredly do so again. It's as certain as the sun rising tomorrow.
2.) Being starstruck is no excuse for fooling around with a married man. Are there such male celebrities that I would consider fooling around with should they look my way. No, and I mean that. I would hate the attention that comes with being known as "Mr. X's lover". Some women do indeed desire the attention that comes from being noticed by a male celebrity, but their reputation takes a beating. Think of Monica Lewinski. Any of you have favorable impressions of her? I think not.
3.) And then there are the women out to score a quick and easy buck by blackmail or by pregnancy. I liken these women to whores, because that's exactly what they are doing: Selling themselves for money. Why would they debase themselves in such a way? The reasons vary, of course, but like those who want to win the "lawsuit lotto", they want a lot of fast and easy money. As you might imagine, I have zero respect for such women. Thanks for setting back women's progess 100 years, ladies!
We as a gender will continue to retard, stop, and even reverse our progress in recent decades if we can't respect ourselves, and part of respecting ourselves is to not get involved with a man whom we know is married. There ARE no good excuses for fooling around men who would cheat on their wives - and worse, women who get involved with such men are as guilty as the men. There is no love involved with a spouse cheats, no matter what the guilty parties may think - plain and simply, it's just people using each other for their own selfish needs, and someone ALWAYS gets hurt as a result. Funny that that thought never occurs to the guilty parties.
2 comments:
No wonder I don't have a girlfriend.
Blah blah blah!
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