Look! Up in the sky! It's a bird! It's a plane...!

This question appeared in yesterday's Dear Abby:

DEAR ABBY:
My wife is constantly passing gas. She does not care where she is or who is around. I have worked in the trucking industry for almost 30 years and never ran across anyone as flatulent as she is.

She is young and attractive, but there is nothing less appealing than feeling "frisky," getting into bed and hearing the trumpet sounds. I have recommended she see a doctor, but she laughs it off and says, "Everyone does it."

I can't believe I'm the only one with this problem. I could really use some "sound" advice, Abby. -- BLOWN AWAY IN ALLIANCE, OHIO

DEAR BLOWN AWAY:
Everyone may do "it," but perhaps not to the extent that your wife does. There are over-the-counter products that can lessen the problem, which may be related to her diet. However, if her flatulence persists, then I'm recommending you not let your wife "laugh off" the idea of consulting a physician, because her problem could be a symptom of something that needs to be checked out -- and that's no joke.

Did it ever occur to anyone that perhaps this woman has a superpower like The Spleen?

(By the way, I LOVE Mystery Men. I'll try to do a review of it later).