Friday, July 16, 2010

Note to Bristol Palin: It's a trap!

Today I'm beating everyone to the punch on a question that I KNOW I'll be asked this weekend: What do I think of Bristol Palin and her marrying Levi Johnston?

In the immortal words of Admiral Ackbar (from the movie "Return of the Jedi", natcherly. If you didn't know that, then turn in your nerd card!): It's a trap!

If Bristol came to me asking for some big sisterly advice, I would tell her to be VERRRYY suspicious, and not to fall for the sad-eyed "I'm so sorry, baby! I love you and I miss you!" act. After all he did to sell out the Palins, I would not trust this guy any further than I can throw him! (Hmm. Maybe that's not a good analogy, since with my super strength, I can throw him several miles...)

Also consider that after his 15 minutes of fame - including posing nude for Playgirl - it has been probably long enough since then that the funds he earned from his betrayal are probably running dry. So what does he do? Try to get back in good with the Palins. I suspect that he is a plant for a tabloid such as the New York Times, who hired him out to get more "goods" on the Palins. They also knew that all he had to do is to give the weepy hunk face to Bristol, because he knew it would work on her. Us ladies can be so weak sometimes! It's so embarrassing!

Anyway, notice that they didn't announce their re-engagement to Sarah and Todd first; instead, they went to a magazine! See, this reeks of a set-up!

I hope I'm wrong about this, but I am probably right, and being right won't make me feel good, trust me.

Bleh. I need to gargle with some Listerine or something. This whole story is leaving a bad taste in my mouth!

You all have a great weekend!

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