Thursday, October 14, 2010

First Round! Vampire vs the Lawyer!

First round continues with the second of four fights for the eventual Halloween Showdown!

In this corner, from a castle in Transylvania is the Vampire!

Strengths: Superhuman strength and a high level of tolerance for pain. Is able to literally drain the life of his opponent away by biting their neck with his fangs and sucking their blood, thus ending the fight.

Weaknesses: Extreme vulnerability to sunlight, so he only goes out at night. Also a weakness to garlic, and can be killed by a wooden stake driven through his heart. Is also vulnerable in the presence of a crucifix, but the wielder has to also be a believer.

And in this corner, from an ivy-covered university is the Lawyer!

Strengths: Many connections to "people who know people" who can cause you many great and expensive legal difficulties if you prove a problem to him. Also, has few to no moral or ethical difficulties to get in the way of whatever he needs to do to win his case. While charming on the outside, he will also not hesitate to switch sides should you prove to be a losing cause.

Weaknesses: Other than an aggressive and sometimes abrasive personality, he has no real defenses. Even the divorce lawyers have only a slightly higher level of stamina and endurance than other lawyers when it comes to a fight like this.

Since the Vampire can't go out in the daytime, the only time they could fight is at night, so right away the Lawyer is out of his element (that is, the courtroom). The Lawyer is nowhere near enough of a believer to use a crucifix (in fact, it might burn his own hands!), and the only garlic that he carries is on his breath, and while it might be strong, it won't be enough to stop the Vampire. Driving a stake through a vampire's heart is so "pedestrian" and beneath the lawyer to do himself, so he'll call Maria, his undocumented domestic help, to do the job for him. By the time she gets there, though, the Vampire will have awaken and attacked.

While it is true that the Lawyer can survive for a period of time without blood, he won't be able to fight it out against the Vampire's superhuman strength, so this fight is a short one. The only sort of satisfaction that the Lawyer can get (or would have gotten, if he wasn't dead!) is the fact that once the Lawyer's blood enters the Vampire's systems and he starts seeing the images and impressions of the Lawyer's life, he will be filled with shock, disgust, and revulsion over the Lawyer's many unethical and immoral acts that he committed over the years in the pursuit of winning his case. That, along with the enormous flood of guilt that the Lawyer had suppressed all these years might be enough for the Vampire to drive the wooden stake through his heart himself.

However, since we need the Vampire to live to fight at least one more battle, he has been sent to counseling to help him deal with all that, at least long enough to fight in the next round, and maybe even the final round should he last that long.


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