Here it is, gang! The Big Finish! The Final Round! The Grand Tamale! Yes, today is the fight that you've waited all month for, the Halloween Showdown! Let's get right to it!
In this corner is the Tuxedoed Terror of Transylvania: The Vampire!
Strengths: Superhuman strength and a high level of tolerance for pain. Is able to literally drain the life of his opponent away by biting their neck with his fangs and sucking their blood, thus ending the fight.
Weaknesses: Extreme vulnerability to sunlight, so he only goes out at night. Also a weakness to garlic, and can be killed by a wooden stake driven through his heart. Is also vulnerable in the presence of a crucifix, but the wielder has to also be a believer.
How he got here: Defeated the Lawyer and the Homicidal Chainsaw Maniac.
And in this corner is the Silent Assassin from the Land of the Rising Sun: The Ninja!
Strengths: Moves extremely quiet from shadow to shadow, silently and patiently waiting for the right moment to strike his target. Then once in action, he is extremely fast with a sword or throwing star, often killing the target before the target can even react. You can't defend against what you don't see coming.
Weaknesses: Works best when there are dark corners or shadows to work from, so a lot of modern office buildings make for poor ninja stalking environments. If he misses with his first strike (which won't be often), then his main offensive strategy of striking from stealth is already blown. And despite his speed, even the fastest of ninjas can't outrun a bullet.
How he got here: Defeated the Pirate and the Werewolf.
Okay, ninjas are generally not Christian, so using the crucifix is out. Also, fighting in the sun is not only counter to his fighting from the shadows, it's also hot to wear all black when the sun is out, so the Ninja will be fighting when it's dark - when it also happens to benefit the Vampire. Now, for this fight, we are going to go through this blow by blow, so pay attention, because the action is going to happen fast!
The Ninja stealthily approaches the casket where the Vampire is resting. Wooden stake in hand, he drops down and thrusts the stake through the Vampire's heart, who emits a howl of pain. The Ninja then jumps down to the floor and draws one of his swords - just in case.
While ninjas are used to stabbing through their opponents chests, it's normally with steel swords, and not wooden stakes. To kill a vampire, this has to be done correctly, or it will fail to kill the vampire. Since this was the Ninja's first try at staking a vampire, he missed the kill by the smallest of margins, but it was enough for the Vampire to rise and remove the stake (although with a great deal of pain, but he also heals quickly).
Before the Vampire can do anything else, the Ninja thrusts his sword through the spot where the stake had previously been thrust. It's a good, clean thrust that would have killed a normal human, but it is only an annoyance to the Vampire, who simply backhands the Ninja away, stunning him momentarily. As the Ninja shakes it off, the Vampire grasps the sword's hilt and slowly removes the sword, and his flesh heals the spot where the sword wound is located.
As the Ninja gets back to his feet and draws his other sword, the Vampire removes his cape and lashes it like a whip towards the Ninja. As the cape cracks the air, it turns into a cluster of bats that flies toward the Ninja, who slashes through a couple of bats while he throws stars towards the other bats. While the Ninja is fighting the bats, the Vampire charges with the sword.
Despite being suprisingly fast, he misses the Ninja, who nimbly hurdles over the Vampire and lands on his feet behind him. The Ninja sheathes his sword and takes out his nunchucks. He twirls the chucks so fast that they hum like mad bees. One strike knocks the sword out of the Vampire's hand, and then he is subjected to multiple hits, with the final hit knocking him backwards. As the Vampire is momentarily stunned, the Ninja reaches for his second wooden stake and lunges towards the Vampire.
The Vampire recovers just in time to catch the hand that has the wooden stake, and he squeezes the Ninja's wrist so strongly that he drops the stake. Still holding onto his wrist, the Vampire then headbutts the Ninja, knocking him out - and while he's out, the Vampire exposes his neck to sink his fangs into. Fight over; Vampire wins.
And there you have it! The Vampire is the winner of this year's Halloween Showdown!
Thanks for reading, all!