Here it is, gang! The Big Finish! The Final Round! The Grand Tamale! Yes, today is the fight that you've waited all month for, the Halloween Showdown! Let's get right to it!
In this corner is the Tuxedoed Terror of Transylvania: The Vampire!
Strengths: Superhuman strength and a high level of tolerance for pain. Is able to literally drain the life of his opponent away by biting their neck with his fangs and sucking their blood, thus ending the fight.
Weaknesses: Extreme vulnerability to sunlight, so he only goes out at night. Also a weakness to garlic, and can be killed by a wooden stake driven through his heart. Is also vulnerable in the presence of a crucifix, but the wielder has to also be a believer.
How he got here: Defeated the Lawyer and the Homicidal Chainsaw Maniac.
And in this corner is the Silent Assassin from the Land of the Rising Sun: The Ninja!
Strengths: Moves extremely quiet from shadow to shadow, silently and patiently waiting for the right moment to strike his target. Then once in action, he is extremely fast with a sword or throwing star, often killing the target before the target can even react. You can't defend against what you don't see coming.
Weaknesses: Works best when there are dark corners or shadows to work from, so a lot of modern office buildings make for poor ninja stalking environments. If he misses with his first strike (which won't be often), then his main offensive strategy of striking from stealth is already blown. And despite his speed, even the fastest of ninjas can't outrun a bullet.
How he got here: Defeated the Pirate and the Werewolf.
Okay, ninjas are generally not Christian, so using the crucifix is out. Also, fighting in the sun is not only counter to his fighting from the shadows, it's also hot to wear all black when the sun is out, so the Ninja will be fighting when it's dark - when it also happens to benefit the Vampire. Now, for this fight, we are going to go through this blow by blow, so pay attention, because the action is going to happen fast!
The Ninja stealthily approaches the casket where the Vampire is resting. Wooden stake in hand, he drops down and thrusts the stake through the Vampire's heart, who emits a howl of pain. The Ninja then jumps down to the floor and draws one of his swords - just in case.
While ninjas are used to stabbing through their opponents chests, it's normally with steel swords, and not wooden stakes. To kill a vampire, this has to be done correctly, or it will fail to kill the vampire. Since this was the Ninja's first try at staking a vampire, he missed the kill by the smallest of margins, but it was enough for the Vampire to rise and remove the stake (although with a great deal of pain, but he also heals quickly).
Before the Vampire can do anything else, the Ninja thrusts his sword through the spot where the stake had previously been thrust. It's a good, clean thrust that would have killed a normal human, but it is only an annoyance to the Vampire, who simply backhands the Ninja away, stunning him momentarily. As the Ninja shakes it off, the Vampire grasps the sword's hilt and slowly removes the sword, and his flesh heals the spot where the sword wound is located.
As the Ninja gets back to his feet and draws his other sword, the Vampire removes his cape and lashes it like a whip towards the Ninja. As the cape cracks the air, it turns into a cluster of bats that flies toward the Ninja, who slashes through a couple of bats while he throws stars towards the other bats. While the Ninja is fighting the bats, the Vampire charges with the sword.
Despite being suprisingly fast, he misses the Ninja, who nimbly hurdles over the Vampire and lands on his feet behind him. The Ninja sheathes his sword and takes out his nunchucks. He twirls the chucks so fast that they hum like mad bees. One strike knocks the sword out of the Vampire's hand, and then he is subjected to multiple hits, with the final hit knocking him backwards. As the Vampire is momentarily stunned, the Ninja reaches for his second wooden stake and lunges towards the Vampire.
The Vampire recovers just in time to catch the hand that has the wooden stake, and he squeezes the Ninja's wrist so strongly that he drops the stake. Still holding onto his wrist, the Vampire then headbutts the Ninja, knocking him out - and while he's out, the Vampire exposes his neck to sink his fangs into. Fight over; Vampire wins.
And there you have it! The Vampire is the winner of this year's Halloween Showdown!
Thanks for reading, all!
Sunday, October 31, 2010
Friday, October 29, 2010
Thursday, October 28, 2010
Second Round! Ninja vs the Werewolf!
Today is the second of two fights for the Second Round of my eventual Halloween Showdown! The winner of today's bout goes on to fight the Vampire in the final round this coming Sunday!
In this corner, from the mysterious parts of the wilderness comes: The Werewolf!
Strengths: Fangs! Claws! Bestial attitude! The guy's a growling and slashing killer furball! Once he gets a blood frenzy going, he's virtually impossible to stop.
Weaknesses: An allergy to silver, and not just silver bullets, but anything coated with silver. It could be brass knuckles, a club, or simple kitchen utensils (although I wouldn't recommend trying to take down a werewolf with a butter knife!), and the greater the purity of silver, the more allergic the werewolf is to it. Also, once he is in a blood frenzy, then his reasoning is virtually absent, so he can be maneuvered into a trap or pit. Oh, and he hates fleas.
How he got here: Defeated the Zombie
And in this corner hiding in plain sight is the Ninja!
Strengths: Moves extremely quiet from shadow to shadow, silently and patiently waiting for the right moment to strike his target. Then once in action, he is extremely fast with a sword or throwing star, often killing the target before the target can even react. You can't defend against what you don't see coming.
Weaknesses: Works best when there are dark corners or shadows to work from, so a lot of modern office buildings make for poor ninja stalking environments. If he misses with his first strike (which won't be often), then his main offensive strategy of striking from stealth is already blown. And despite his speed, even the fastest of ninjas can't outrun a bullet.
How he got here: Defeated the Pirate.
Unlike the Zombie, the Werewolf's current opponent is bristling with sharp steel. And because ninjas tend to study their targets before stalking them, the Ninja would know to bring something coated with silver. Maybe not so much a sword, but perhaps a dagger. However, trying to stab the Werewolf with its own kryptonite is no easy task, even for the speedy Ninja!
Ninjas generally try to take out their targets with their first blow, so if that is not accomplished, then their work gets that much harder. And given that werewolves are rarely just standing around providing nice, juicy targets for their opponents, this makes it unlikely that the Ninja will be able to take out the Werewolf in one strike, so already the Ninja has his work cut out for him.
The silver-coated dagger is probably best to use, because a sword would be too long to use in close quarters, while a dagger is just long enough to stab through the heart. Still, having the sword at hand is useful, because although the Werewolf is very tough, even non-silver blades can still hurt, and most importantly, a particularly injurious sword attack can provide an opening for which to strike with the silver-coated dagger. The Ninja would have to move fast, though, because the Werewolf is no slouch either in the speed department!
However, I think the Ninja's skills with bladed weaponry is just enough to allow him to defeat the Werewolf, despite the Werewolf's height and size advantage. A quick stab through the heart, and it's over.
TODAY'S WINNER, THE NINJA!
Now the Ninja moves on to the final round with the Vampire in Sunday's Halloween Showdown!
So who do you think will win that titanic bout? Tune in Sunday and find out!
In this corner, from the mysterious parts of the wilderness comes: The Werewolf!
Strengths: Fangs! Claws! Bestial attitude! The guy's a growling and slashing killer furball! Once he gets a blood frenzy going, he's virtually impossible to stop.
Weaknesses: An allergy to silver, and not just silver bullets, but anything coated with silver. It could be brass knuckles, a club, or simple kitchen utensils (although I wouldn't recommend trying to take down a werewolf with a butter knife!), and the greater the purity of silver, the more allergic the werewolf is to it. Also, once he is in a blood frenzy, then his reasoning is virtually absent, so he can be maneuvered into a trap or pit. Oh, and he hates fleas.
How he got here: Defeated the Zombie
And in this corner hiding in plain sight is the Ninja!
Strengths: Moves extremely quiet from shadow to shadow, silently and patiently waiting for the right moment to strike his target. Then once in action, he is extremely fast with a sword or throwing star, often killing the target before the target can even react. You can't defend against what you don't see coming.
Weaknesses: Works best when there are dark corners or shadows to work from, so a lot of modern office buildings make for poor ninja stalking environments. If he misses with his first strike (which won't be often), then his main offensive strategy of striking from stealth is already blown. And despite his speed, even the fastest of ninjas can't outrun a bullet.
How he got here: Defeated the Pirate.
Unlike the Zombie, the Werewolf's current opponent is bristling with sharp steel. And because ninjas tend to study their targets before stalking them, the Ninja would know to bring something coated with silver. Maybe not so much a sword, but perhaps a dagger. However, trying to stab the Werewolf with its own kryptonite is no easy task, even for the speedy Ninja!
Ninjas generally try to take out their targets with their first blow, so if that is not accomplished, then their work gets that much harder. And given that werewolves are rarely just standing around providing nice, juicy targets for their opponents, this makes it unlikely that the Ninja will be able to take out the Werewolf in one strike, so already the Ninja has his work cut out for him.
The silver-coated dagger is probably best to use, because a sword would be too long to use in close quarters, while a dagger is just long enough to stab through the heart. Still, having the sword at hand is useful, because although the Werewolf is very tough, even non-silver blades can still hurt, and most importantly, a particularly injurious sword attack can provide an opening for which to strike with the silver-coated dagger. The Ninja would have to move fast, though, because the Werewolf is no slouch either in the speed department!
However, I think the Ninja's skills with bladed weaponry is just enough to allow him to defeat the Werewolf, despite the Werewolf's height and size advantage. A quick stab through the heart, and it's over.
TODAY'S WINNER, THE NINJA!
Now the Ninja moves on to the final round with the Vampire in Sunday's Halloween Showdown!
So who do you think will win that titanic bout? Tune in Sunday and find out!
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
Second Round! HCM vs. The Vampire!
Second Round! HCM vs. Vampire!
Today starts the first of two fights for the second round of my eventual Halloween Showdown! The winners of these bouts goes on to the final round coming this Halloween!
In this corner, coming from a home with too many bad influences is the Homicidal Chainsaw Maniac (HCM)!
Strengths: Very strong, very large size, high tolerance for pain. And lest we forget, he comes bearing a big ol' freakin' chainsaw! His big size is intimidating enough, but add to that the noisy chainsaw and you got one giant, scary dude!
Weaknesses: Slow, lumbering speed. Limited vocal skills - not that he needs them for hacking people to death! Slow thought processes. If his chainsaw is somehow taken from him, then he is less of a threat. Not MUCH less, but it would be easier to stop him if he isn't waving a chainsaw in your face!
How he got here: Defeated the Demon-Possessed Action Figure.
And in this corner, coming at you from a casket in the bottom of some dark dungeon is The Vampire!
Strengths: Superhuman strength and a high level of tolerance for pain. Is able to literally drain the life of his opponent away by biting their neck with his fangs and sucking their blood, thus ending the fight.
Weaknesses: Extreme vulnerability to sunlight, so he only goes out at night. Also a weakness to garlic, and can be killed by a wooden stake driven through his heart. Is also vulnerable in the presence of a crucifix, but the wielder has to also be a believer.
How he got here: Defeated the Lawyer.
In this round, both contestants have a tougher fight on their hands. HCM is not dealing with a tiny opponent (albeit a nasty, vicious one!), and the Vampire is not dealing with an annoying but still rather weak Lawyer. This time, it’s Fangs vs. Saw!
Today starts the first of two fights for the second round of my eventual Halloween Showdown! The winners of these bouts goes on to the final round coming this Halloween!
In this corner, coming from a home with too many bad influences is the Homicidal Chainsaw Maniac (HCM)!
Strengths: Very strong, very large size, high tolerance for pain. And lest we forget, he comes bearing a big ol' freakin' chainsaw! His big size is intimidating enough, but add to that the noisy chainsaw and you got one giant, scary dude!
Weaknesses: Slow, lumbering speed. Limited vocal skills - not that he needs them for hacking people to death! Slow thought processes. If his chainsaw is somehow taken from him, then he is less of a threat. Not MUCH less, but it would be easier to stop him if he isn't waving a chainsaw in your face!
How he got here: Defeated the Demon-Possessed Action Figure.
And in this corner, coming at you from a casket in the bottom of some dark dungeon is The Vampire!
Strengths: Superhuman strength and a high level of tolerance for pain. Is able to literally drain the life of his opponent away by biting their neck with his fangs and sucking their blood, thus ending the fight.
Weaknesses: Extreme vulnerability to sunlight, so he only goes out at night. Also a weakness to garlic, and can be killed by a wooden stake driven through his heart. Is also vulnerable in the presence of a crucifix, but the wielder has to also be a believer.
How he got here: Defeated the Lawyer.
In this round, both contestants have a tougher fight on their hands. HCM is not dealing with a tiny opponent (albeit a nasty, vicious one!), and the Vampire is not dealing with an annoying but still rather weak Lawyer. This time, it’s Fangs vs. Saw!
Yes, this time, the Vampire has someone who can defend himself with something considerably more substantive than a court summons! And since both have a high tolerance for pain, this fight is going to last a bit longer. The HCM is strong enough to plunge a wooden stake into the Vampire's heart while he lay sleeping, but since he walks with all the grace and silence of a drunk wearing wooden shoes, his noisy entrance will be enough to wake the dead - or in this case, the undead.
Once the Vampire awakes, he leaps to action, only to be swatted away with the HCM's chainsaw. While the HCM can wield his chainsaw pretty skillfully, the Vampire is still too fast for him to make decent contact with. That, plus the fact that the Vampire is a more skillful fighter leaves this little doubt as to who would win this time around. The HCM could drag the Vampire out to sunlight, but he's not strong enough to hold him long enough for the sun to do its deadly work. Once the Vampire separates the HCM from his chainsaw, then it's a short trip to his neck and the Vampire wins.
TODAY'S WINNER: THE VAMPIRE!
He now moves on to the championship round and awaits the winner of the fight between the Ninja and the Werewolf, which comes this Thursday!
Once the Vampire awakes, he leaps to action, only to be swatted away with the HCM's chainsaw. While the HCM can wield his chainsaw pretty skillfully, the Vampire is still too fast for him to make decent contact with. That, plus the fact that the Vampire is a more skillful fighter leaves this little doubt as to who would win this time around. The HCM could drag the Vampire out to sunlight, but he's not strong enough to hold him long enough for the sun to do its deadly work. Once the Vampire separates the HCM from his chainsaw, then it's a short trip to his neck and the Vampire wins.
TODAY'S WINNER: THE VAMPIRE!
He now moves on to the championship round and awaits the winner of the fight between the Ninja and the Werewolf, which comes this Thursday!
Friday, October 22, 2010
First Round! Ninja vs. Pirate!
And now we come to the final fight of the First Round of my eventual Halloween Showdown! Whoohoo!
In this corner lurking from nearly any dark shadow - LOOK OUT! - is the Ninja!
Strengths: Moves extremely quiet from shadow to shadow, silently and patiently waiting for the right moment to strike his target. Then once in action, he is extremely fast with a sword or throwing star, often killing the target before the target can even react. You can't defend against what you don't see coming.
Weaknesses: Works best when there are dark corners or shadows to work from, so a lot of modern office buildings make for poor ninja stalking environments. If he misses with his first strike (which won't be often), then his main offensive strategy of striking from stealth is already blown. And despite his speed, even the fastest of ninjas can't outrun a bullet.
And in this corner, from all parts of the seven seas is the Pirate!
Strengths: Very strong and very skilled at swinging a sword. Also, because he is often at different stages of intoxication most of the time, he has a high tolerance for pain. Despite the fact that he might be missing an eye or limbs, that only heightens his fear factor, since it demonstrates just how much punishment he can take and still keep going.
Weaknesses: Because he is often at different stages of intoxication, this means that his movements are not as fast as they could be if he wasn't loaded up with ale. And of course, the more intoxicated he is, the slower he is going to move. His attack strategies are basically attack until the other guy goes down. Works well for the Pirate when he has the upper hand, not so well when he doesn't have the upper hand.
If these two were fighting in a standard office building, then the Pirate would have the upper hand since most office buildings are brightly lit with few shadows to hide a ninja in, but since the Pirate often fights in dark places such as bars, he is fighting in an environment that favors the Ninja. Fortunately for the Pirate, he also has many weapons at hand, such as the broken beer bottle, steins, chairs, tables, and his smaller fellow pirates.
So even if the bar environment favors the Ninja, he won't have a quick, easy fight due to the amount of weapons and defense that the Pirate can put up. Plus, if the Ninja hasn't taken down the Pirate with his first strike, then the Ninja's cover is already blown. It will be a good fight, with many objects (and people!) being thrown. However, while the Ninja isn't likely to take down the Pirate with his first strike, he can still wear the Pirate out by continuing to strike from the shadows, thus preventing the Pirate from being able to react as quickly as he would like.
Plus, while being intoxicated may help the Pirate endure the many sword strikes that the Ninja delivers, it also slows him down to the point that he endures more sword strikes than he would have otherwise taken had he not been intoxicated. This also messes up the Pirate's aim for when he tries to shoot the Ninja with his pistol. Bottom line, the Pirate is too drunk and the Ninja simply moves too fast for the Pirate to get a good, solid hit on, so it will be the Ninja who wins in the end.
TODAY'S WINNER: THE NINJA!
This ends the first round. Starting next week will be the second round, which will determine who goes on to the Halloween Showdown! Make your bets, folks! Halloween will be here before you know it!
In this corner lurking from nearly any dark shadow - LOOK OUT! - is the Ninja!
Strengths: Moves extremely quiet from shadow to shadow, silently and patiently waiting for the right moment to strike his target. Then once in action, he is extremely fast with a sword or throwing star, often killing the target before the target can even react. You can't defend against what you don't see coming.
Weaknesses: Works best when there are dark corners or shadows to work from, so a lot of modern office buildings make for poor ninja stalking environments. If he misses with his first strike (which won't be often), then his main offensive strategy of striking from stealth is already blown. And despite his speed, even the fastest of ninjas can't outrun a bullet.
And in this corner, from all parts of the seven seas is the Pirate!
Strengths: Very strong and very skilled at swinging a sword. Also, because he is often at different stages of intoxication most of the time, he has a high tolerance for pain. Despite the fact that he might be missing an eye or limbs, that only heightens his fear factor, since it demonstrates just how much punishment he can take and still keep going.
Weaknesses: Because he is often at different stages of intoxication, this means that his movements are not as fast as they could be if he wasn't loaded up with ale. And of course, the more intoxicated he is, the slower he is going to move. His attack strategies are basically attack until the other guy goes down. Works well for the Pirate when he has the upper hand, not so well when he doesn't have the upper hand.
If these two were fighting in a standard office building, then the Pirate would have the upper hand since most office buildings are brightly lit with few shadows to hide a ninja in, but since the Pirate often fights in dark places such as bars, he is fighting in an environment that favors the Ninja. Fortunately for the Pirate, he also has many weapons at hand, such as the broken beer bottle, steins, chairs, tables, and his smaller fellow pirates.
So even if the bar environment favors the Ninja, he won't have a quick, easy fight due to the amount of weapons and defense that the Pirate can put up. Plus, if the Ninja hasn't taken down the Pirate with his first strike, then the Ninja's cover is already blown. It will be a good fight, with many objects (and people!) being thrown. However, while the Ninja isn't likely to take down the Pirate with his first strike, he can still wear the Pirate out by continuing to strike from the shadows, thus preventing the Pirate from being able to react as quickly as he would like.
Plus, while being intoxicated may help the Pirate endure the many sword strikes that the Ninja delivers, it also slows him down to the point that he endures more sword strikes than he would have otherwise taken had he not been intoxicated. This also messes up the Pirate's aim for when he tries to shoot the Ninja with his pistol. Bottom line, the Pirate is too drunk and the Ninja simply moves too fast for the Pirate to get a good, solid hit on, so it will be the Ninja who wins in the end.
TODAY'S WINNER: THE NINJA!
This ends the first round. Starting next week will be the second round, which will determine who goes on to the Halloween Showdown! Make your bets, folks! Halloween will be here before you know it!
Thursday, October 21, 2010
I might be a liberal in a parallel universe!
Check this out! The classic comic books storyline of parallel universes just might be real!
It kinda creeps me out that I might be a freakin' liberal in another universe! Yikes! But then, if this is a mirror universe, then it means that my parents, rather than being Marxists, would instead be Ward and June Cleaver! LOL
Anyway, to help banish painful thoughts of me being liberal in a mirror universe, I whipped up this little ditty as a spoof of John Lennon's Imagine. Enjoy!
Imagine That!
-by Andromeda Perseus
Imagine there's no liberals
It's not easy , but go ahead and try
No global warming to scare us
No “green” taxes to make us cry
Imagine all the people
Keeping all their pay
Imagine there's no socialists
Yes, I know it’s hard to do
No Malthusian quotas to die for
And no death panels too
Imagine all the people
Having peace of mind
You may say that I'm a dreamer
But I'm not the only one
I hope someday the libs will join us
So that in this world we’ll be left alone
Imagine keeping all your possessions
It’s a wonder if you can
No need to “spread the wealth”
Keeping all you earn – what a plan!
Imagine all the people
Keeping all their pay
You may say that I'm a dreamer
But I'm not the only one
I hope someday the libs will join us
So that in this world we’ll be left alone
It kinda creeps me out that I might be a freakin' liberal in another universe! Yikes! But then, if this is a mirror universe, then it means that my parents, rather than being Marxists, would instead be Ward and June Cleaver! LOL
Anyway, to help banish painful thoughts of me being liberal in a mirror universe, I whipped up this little ditty as a spoof of John Lennon's Imagine. Enjoy!
Imagine That!
-by Andromeda Perseus
Imagine there's no liberals
It's not easy , but go ahead and try
No global warming to scare us
No “green” taxes to make us cry
Imagine all the people
Keeping all their pay
Imagine there's no socialists
Yes, I know it’s hard to do
No Malthusian quotas to die for
And no death panels too
Imagine all the people
Having peace of mind
You may say that I'm a dreamer
But I'm not the only one
I hope someday the libs will join us
So that in this world we’ll be left alone
Imagine keeping all your possessions
It’s a wonder if you can
No need to “spread the wealth”
Keeping all you earn – what a plan!
Imagine all the people
Keeping all their pay
You may say that I'm a dreamer
But I'm not the only one
I hope someday the libs will join us
So that in this world we’ll be left alone
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
First Round! Werewolf vs. The Zombie!
The first round continues with the third fight of the eventual Halloween Showdown!
In this corner, from the darkest depths of the forest comes: The Werewolf!
Strengths: Fangs! Claws! Bestial attitude! The guy's a growling and slashing killer furball! Once he gets a blood frenzy going, he's virtually impossible to stop.
Weaknesses: An allergy to silver, and not just silver bullets, but anything coated with silver. It could be brass knuckles, a club, or simple kitchen utensils (although I wouldn't recommend trying to take down a werewolf with a butter knife!), and the greater the purity of silver, the more allergic the werewolf is to it. Also, once he is in a blood frenzy, then his reasoning is virtually absent, so he can be maneuvered into a trap or pit. Oh, and he hates fleas.
And this corner, rising from your local graveyard is: The Zombie!
Strengths: Total immunity to pain. You can stab him, you can shoot him, and he'll keep coming for you. He is virtually impossible to stop in his goal to consume your brains. Also because of his immunity to pain, he is stronger than you would expect a walking corpse to be. Normally when we try to break through a wall or door by throwing ourselves against it, it would severely injure us, but the Zombie can just keep throwing himself against a wall or door until it breaks down.
Weaknesses: Very slow, lumbering speed. Also, because he is still in the process of decaying, his limbs are likely to fall off with enough effort to remove them. And as with the Werewolf, his single-mindedness in pursuit of his goal can be used against him. He can be led into traps that will end in his demise, like firepits. Virtually no social or communication skills, but when someone smells like rotted flesh, why would you want to try to socialize with them anyway?
This battle would last surprisingly longer than you would think, because while the Werewolf can keep charging at the Zombie, the Zombie simply won't stay down. That, plus the enormous offending smell of the Zombie would be enough to keep the Werewolf from staying in close ranks for very long, since their sense of smell is much more acute than human senses of smell. And besides, no matter how much the Werewolf slashes at the Zombie, he will feel no pain, and he won't be brought down by numerous slashing wounds like the Werewolf's living prey would be.
The main reason that their battle would last longer than expected is because of both of their single-mindedness. However, eventually the Werewolf would win because he will eventually be capable of reasoning once he sees that his usual tactics aren't working this time around, while the Zombie isn't capable of reasoning at all, so he won't change tactics even when he needs to. My guess is that the Werewolf eventually figures out to slash the head off of the Zombie, which is one way to kill a zombie. He wouldn't use the other zombie killer - fire - because Werewolves aren't too keen on fire themselves.
TODAY'S WINNER: THE WEREWOLF!
There is one more fight in this first round, and that will come this Friday. Then next week are the finals before we get to the Halloween Showdown at the end of the month. You guys excited yet? Well, maybe the next fight will get your nerd juices flowing, because it will be the classic nerd debate of the fight between the Ninja and the Pirate!
And last, for your entertainment pleasure, here is a spoof of the classic Halloween song, Werewolves of London, which is timely not just because Halloween is coming up, but also the new game expansion, World of Warcraft: Cataclysm, which has the new Alliance race, the Worgen. I present to you Worgen of Stormwind!
In this corner, from the darkest depths of the forest comes: The Werewolf!
Strengths: Fangs! Claws! Bestial attitude! The guy's a growling and slashing killer furball! Once he gets a blood frenzy going, he's virtually impossible to stop.
Weaknesses: An allergy to silver, and not just silver bullets, but anything coated with silver. It could be brass knuckles, a club, or simple kitchen utensils (although I wouldn't recommend trying to take down a werewolf with a butter knife!), and the greater the purity of silver, the more allergic the werewolf is to it. Also, once he is in a blood frenzy, then his reasoning is virtually absent, so he can be maneuvered into a trap or pit. Oh, and he hates fleas.
And this corner, rising from your local graveyard is: The Zombie!
Strengths: Total immunity to pain. You can stab him, you can shoot him, and he'll keep coming for you. He is virtually impossible to stop in his goal to consume your brains. Also because of his immunity to pain, he is stronger than you would expect a walking corpse to be. Normally when we try to break through a wall or door by throwing ourselves against it, it would severely injure us, but the Zombie can just keep throwing himself against a wall or door until it breaks down.
Weaknesses: Very slow, lumbering speed. Also, because he is still in the process of decaying, his limbs are likely to fall off with enough effort to remove them. And as with the Werewolf, his single-mindedness in pursuit of his goal can be used against him. He can be led into traps that will end in his demise, like firepits. Virtually no social or communication skills, but when someone smells like rotted flesh, why would you want to try to socialize with them anyway?
This battle would last surprisingly longer than you would think, because while the Werewolf can keep charging at the Zombie, the Zombie simply won't stay down. That, plus the enormous offending smell of the Zombie would be enough to keep the Werewolf from staying in close ranks for very long, since their sense of smell is much more acute than human senses of smell. And besides, no matter how much the Werewolf slashes at the Zombie, he will feel no pain, and he won't be brought down by numerous slashing wounds like the Werewolf's living prey would be.
The main reason that their battle would last longer than expected is because of both of their single-mindedness. However, eventually the Werewolf would win because he will eventually be capable of reasoning once he sees that his usual tactics aren't working this time around, while the Zombie isn't capable of reasoning at all, so he won't change tactics even when he needs to. My guess is that the Werewolf eventually figures out to slash the head off of the Zombie, which is one way to kill a zombie. He wouldn't use the other zombie killer - fire - because Werewolves aren't too keen on fire themselves.
TODAY'S WINNER: THE WEREWOLF!
There is one more fight in this first round, and that will come this Friday. Then next week are the finals before we get to the Halloween Showdown at the end of the month. You guys excited yet? Well, maybe the next fight will get your nerd juices flowing, because it will be the classic nerd debate of the fight between the Ninja and the Pirate!
And last, for your entertainment pleasure, here is a spoof of the classic Halloween song, Werewolves of London, which is timely not just because Halloween is coming up, but also the new game expansion, World of Warcraft: Cataclysm, which has the new Alliance race, the Worgen. I present to you Worgen of Stormwind!
Friday, October 15, 2010
Book Review: World of Warcraft Shaman
I found Tokyopop's World of Warcraft Shaman when I was checking out the other graphic novels in the local bookstore. It is written by Paul Benjamin and illustrated by Rocio Zucchi. Once in a while when I am looking at the graphic novels, I also check out the manga section just for the heck of it, because some of them are interesting. I don't usually go through the manga section a lot, because many titles have very long storylines, and I often don't get the point of what the author is trying to say; and besides, many of them are just plain weird or juvenile.
However, this one caught my eye because it was tied into something I am familiar with, the online role-playing game World of Warcraft. It got my interest also because it's a "one-shot"; that is, while it's tied into the WoW "universe", it's also a story that is not continued into another book, so I figured it was worth a shot to check out. After I flipped through a few pages, I was interested enough to purchase it. And friends, I ended up enjoying this book very much.
The storyline was interesting in itself because of the way it portrayed religion - in this instance, shamanism as it is depicted in WoW, which is an element-centered belief system (and here the elements are earth, air, water, and fire, although it also adds an element called "life"). In brief, shamanistic beliefs requires that you ask and implore the elements to do your bidding, whether it is ask the water elements to bring rain to drought-stricken crops or to ask the earth elements to smite your enemies in a landslide. That's important to keep in mind here: You ASK the elements to do your bidding; you don't FORCE them to do it.
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Before I continue, I must note that the following contains spoilers, so if you want to read the book for yourself first, stop reading here and then get back to me later. You have been warned. :-)
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The main character is a tauren shaman leader named Muln Earthfury, who is the leader of a group of shamans called the Earthen Ring (whom the leader of the Horde, Thrall, also belongs to), and in the story he is teaching his apprentices about shamanism and how important it is to be in tune with the elements. One apprentice, a female orc named Kettara Bloodthirst, is probably the most attractively drawn female orc I've ever seen! LOL When you get the book, you'll see what I mean.
Anyway, the elements are in turmoil (by the way, this is meant to be a tie-in to the upcoming WoW expansion Cataclysm, although this is not mentioned in the story), which shakes the faith of Muln's apprentices, because the elements are either slow in responding to their pleas, or they're not responding at all. Then a very strange looking tauren shaman named Shotoa appears to help dispel a cyclone that the other shamans have not been able to dispel. Without getting too much into the story, Shotoa lived centuries ago and disappeared by being swallowed up by the earth while trying to rescue one of his apprentices. After all those centuries, he suddenly appears, and he looks very strange, with fire coming out of his eyes (literally!) and yet with horns adorned with icicles.
When Muln's apprentices are confronted with the success of Shotoa's successful commanding methods of ordering the elements to do his bidding versus the apparent failure of the traditional method of asking and imploring the elements to do their bidding, he seems like a revolutionary. They then begin to question whether it is time for shamanish to consider alternate methods of practicing their craft, and a group of them leave Muln to join Shotoa - including Kettara, for whom it is somewhat established that Muln loves like a daughter. Long story short, it then turns out that Shotoa is actually possessed by an evil fire god Ragnaros, and Shotoa was trying to wipe out shamanism by this plot.
Muln comes to the rescue and he has a "moment of truth" scene in which he has to decide how he will confront Shotoa - by the traditional method of imploring the elements or by Shotoa's method of ordering them. He ends up persuading them with logic, that if they don't do ask he asks, then they will be under the boot of the Ragnaros-possessed Shotoa, so they help in the defeat of him, while Muln gets the final, killing blow. And at the end, his apprentices see the errors of their ways and rejoin him.
I found this story to be an interesting twist to the usual way that "organized" religions are often portrayed in such stories. Unlike the usual storyline in which the bad guys are the leaders of the "establishment" religion and the good guys are the ones with the "new, revolutionary" ideas, here Muln's insistence on sticking to tradition is portrayed as a strength, and a strength that was tested in the climax of the story. I also thought that the departure of the apprentices was completely logical in the face of what they had just witnessed. It wasn't so much that they were weak, but that they were young, but they gained strength and wisdom from their experiences.
Ultimately, it was a stealth "pro-faith" story, and one that was nicely done. Given our modern culture's dislike (and often hatred) of organized religions, it's good to see a story that portrays how an organized religion can be a strength. After all, despite the fair and unfair criticisms of organized religions, there is something about them that led them to be sources of strength in the first place.
However, what also helped make this book is the awesome artwork by Rocio Zucchi. She drew such wonderful and expressive faces in the story. Her depictions of the female orc Kettara were especially beautiful. During the course of the story, you will see a broad range of facial expressions from her, from happiness to sadness to anger to idolizing hero worship when she first meets Muln. Zucchi even pulls off a wonderfully dramatic facial expression in which she is being crushed in the grip of an earth elemental, and yet you can see even through her pained expression the joy of seeing that her mentor Muln has arrived to save the day. Not only that, Zucchi pulled off something that you don't normally see: She made a female orc look sexy hot! LOL The illustrations were so wonderfully and expressively done that it was my favorite part of the book.
Overall, I really enjoyed this book. Both the story and art complemented each other well. The one, lone criticism I have was at the end in which Kettara dies from her injures from being crushed by the earth elemental. This criticism is due both to the fact that I really liked Kettara, and also to the fact that, in the game, not only can shamans resurrect other players, they can even resurrect themselves, so it was almost a pointless death. Still, it was a very good story, and it is definitely one that I would recommend buying. On a scale of 1 to 10 in which 1 is a bomb and 10 is THE bomb, I give World of Warcraft: Shaman a 9. It would have been at least a 9.75, except I wasn't too happy with the ending. :-)
There does not appear to be any other WoW graphic novels coming anytime soon. I hope they reconsider, because I am also disappointed that Blizzard, the company that owns WoW, discontinued the comic. Why start a good thing only to discontinue it? This is the sort of thing that drives me nuts.
However, this one caught my eye because it was tied into something I am familiar with, the online role-playing game World of Warcraft. It got my interest also because it's a "one-shot"; that is, while it's tied into the WoW "universe", it's also a story that is not continued into another book, so I figured it was worth a shot to check out. After I flipped through a few pages, I was interested enough to purchase it. And friends, I ended up enjoying this book very much.
The storyline was interesting in itself because of the way it portrayed religion - in this instance, shamanism as it is depicted in WoW, which is an element-centered belief system (and here the elements are earth, air, water, and fire, although it also adds an element called "life"). In brief, shamanistic beliefs requires that you ask and implore the elements to do your bidding, whether it is ask the water elements to bring rain to drought-stricken crops or to ask the earth elements to smite your enemies in a landslide. That's important to keep in mind here: You ASK the elements to do your bidding; you don't FORCE them to do it.
-------------------------------------------------------------
Before I continue, I must note that the following contains spoilers, so if you want to read the book for yourself first, stop reading here and then get back to me later. You have been warned. :-)
-------------------------------------------------------------
The main character is a tauren shaman leader named Muln Earthfury, who is the leader of a group of shamans called the Earthen Ring (whom the leader of the Horde, Thrall, also belongs to), and in the story he is teaching his apprentices about shamanism and how important it is to be in tune with the elements. One apprentice, a female orc named Kettara Bloodthirst, is probably the most attractively drawn female orc I've ever seen! LOL When you get the book, you'll see what I mean.
Anyway, the elements are in turmoil (by the way, this is meant to be a tie-in to the upcoming WoW expansion Cataclysm, although this is not mentioned in the story), which shakes the faith of Muln's apprentices, because the elements are either slow in responding to their pleas, or they're not responding at all. Then a very strange looking tauren shaman named Shotoa appears to help dispel a cyclone that the other shamans have not been able to dispel. Without getting too much into the story, Shotoa lived centuries ago and disappeared by being swallowed up by the earth while trying to rescue one of his apprentices. After all those centuries, he suddenly appears, and he looks very strange, with fire coming out of his eyes (literally!) and yet with horns adorned with icicles.
When Muln's apprentices are confronted with the success of Shotoa's successful commanding methods of ordering the elements to do his bidding versus the apparent failure of the traditional method of asking and imploring the elements to do their bidding, he seems like a revolutionary. They then begin to question whether it is time for shamanish to consider alternate methods of practicing their craft, and a group of them leave Muln to join Shotoa - including Kettara, for whom it is somewhat established that Muln loves like a daughter. Long story short, it then turns out that Shotoa is actually possessed by an evil fire god Ragnaros, and Shotoa was trying to wipe out shamanism by this plot.
Muln comes to the rescue and he has a "moment of truth" scene in which he has to decide how he will confront Shotoa - by the traditional method of imploring the elements or by Shotoa's method of ordering them. He ends up persuading them with logic, that if they don't do ask he asks, then they will be under the boot of the Ragnaros-possessed Shotoa, so they help in the defeat of him, while Muln gets the final, killing blow. And at the end, his apprentices see the errors of their ways and rejoin him.
I found this story to be an interesting twist to the usual way that "organized" religions are often portrayed in such stories. Unlike the usual storyline in which the bad guys are the leaders of the "establishment" religion and the good guys are the ones with the "new, revolutionary" ideas, here Muln's insistence on sticking to tradition is portrayed as a strength, and a strength that was tested in the climax of the story. I also thought that the departure of the apprentices was completely logical in the face of what they had just witnessed. It wasn't so much that they were weak, but that they were young, but they gained strength and wisdom from their experiences.
Ultimately, it was a stealth "pro-faith" story, and one that was nicely done. Given our modern culture's dislike (and often hatred) of organized religions, it's good to see a story that portrays how an organized religion can be a strength. After all, despite the fair and unfair criticisms of organized religions, there is something about them that led them to be sources of strength in the first place.
However, what also helped make this book is the awesome artwork by Rocio Zucchi. She drew such wonderful and expressive faces in the story. Her depictions of the female orc Kettara were especially beautiful. During the course of the story, you will see a broad range of facial expressions from her, from happiness to sadness to anger to idolizing hero worship when she first meets Muln. Zucchi even pulls off a wonderfully dramatic facial expression in which she is being crushed in the grip of an earth elemental, and yet you can see even through her pained expression the joy of seeing that her mentor Muln has arrived to save the day. Not only that, Zucchi pulled off something that you don't normally see: She made a female orc look sexy hot! LOL The illustrations were so wonderfully and expressively done that it was my favorite part of the book.
Overall, I really enjoyed this book. Both the story and art complemented each other well. The one, lone criticism I have was at the end in which Kettara dies from her injures from being crushed by the earth elemental. This criticism is due both to the fact that I really liked Kettara, and also to the fact that, in the game, not only can shamans resurrect other players, they can even resurrect themselves, so it was almost a pointless death. Still, it was a very good story, and it is definitely one that I would recommend buying. On a scale of 1 to 10 in which 1 is a bomb and 10 is THE bomb, I give World of Warcraft: Shaman a 9. It would have been at least a 9.75, except I wasn't too happy with the ending. :-)
There does not appear to be any other WoW graphic novels coming anytime soon. I hope they reconsider, because I am also disappointed that Blizzard, the company that owns WoW, discontinued the comic. Why start a good thing only to discontinue it? This is the sort of thing that drives me nuts.
Thursday, October 14, 2010
First Round! Vampire vs the Lawyer!
First round continues with the second of four fights for the eventual Halloween Showdown!
In this corner, from a castle in Transylvania is the Vampire!
Strengths: Superhuman strength and a high level of tolerance for pain. Is able to literally drain the life of his opponent away by biting their neck with his fangs and sucking their blood, thus ending the fight.
Weaknesses: Extreme vulnerability to sunlight, so he only goes out at night. Also a weakness to garlic, and can be killed by a wooden stake driven through his heart. Is also vulnerable in the presence of a crucifix, but the wielder has to also be a believer.
And in this corner, from an ivy-covered university is the Lawyer!
Strengths: Many connections to "people who know people" who can cause you many great and expensive legal difficulties if you prove a problem to him. Also, has few to no moral or ethical difficulties to get in the way of whatever he needs to do to win his case. While charming on the outside, he will also not hesitate to switch sides should you prove to be a losing cause.
Weaknesses: Other than an aggressive and sometimes abrasive personality, he has no real defenses. Even the divorce lawyers have only a slightly higher level of stamina and endurance than other lawyers when it comes to a fight like this.
Since the Vampire can't go out in the daytime, the only time they could fight is at night, so right away the Lawyer is out of his element (that is, the courtroom). The Lawyer is nowhere near enough of a believer to use a crucifix (in fact, it might burn his own hands!), and the only garlic that he carries is on his breath, and while it might be strong, it won't be enough to stop the Vampire. Driving a stake through a vampire's heart is so "pedestrian" and beneath the lawyer to do himself, so he'll call Maria, his undocumented domestic help, to do the job for him. By the time she gets there, though, the Vampire will have awaken and attacked.
While it is true that the Lawyer can survive for a period of time without blood, he won't be able to fight it out against the Vampire's superhuman strength, so this fight is a short one. The only sort of satisfaction that the Lawyer can get (or would have gotten, if he wasn't dead!) is the fact that once the Lawyer's blood enters the Vampire's systems and he starts seeing the images and impressions of the Lawyer's life, he will be filled with shock, disgust, and revulsion over the Lawyer's many unethical and immoral acts that he committed over the years in the pursuit of winning his case. That, along with the enormous flood of guilt that the Lawyer had suppressed all these years might be enough for the Vampire to drive the wooden stake through his heart himself.
However, since we need the Vampire to live to fight at least one more battle, he has been sent to counseling to help him deal with all that, at least long enough to fight in the next round, and maybe even the final round should he last that long.
TODAY'S WINNER: THE VAMPIRE!
In this corner, from a castle in Transylvania is the Vampire!
Strengths: Superhuman strength and a high level of tolerance for pain. Is able to literally drain the life of his opponent away by biting their neck with his fangs and sucking their blood, thus ending the fight.
Weaknesses: Extreme vulnerability to sunlight, so he only goes out at night. Also a weakness to garlic, and can be killed by a wooden stake driven through his heart. Is also vulnerable in the presence of a crucifix, but the wielder has to also be a believer.
And in this corner, from an ivy-covered university is the Lawyer!
Strengths: Many connections to "people who know people" who can cause you many great and expensive legal difficulties if you prove a problem to him. Also, has few to no moral or ethical difficulties to get in the way of whatever he needs to do to win his case. While charming on the outside, he will also not hesitate to switch sides should you prove to be a losing cause.
Weaknesses: Other than an aggressive and sometimes abrasive personality, he has no real defenses. Even the divorce lawyers have only a slightly higher level of stamina and endurance than other lawyers when it comes to a fight like this.
Since the Vampire can't go out in the daytime, the only time they could fight is at night, so right away the Lawyer is out of his element (that is, the courtroom). The Lawyer is nowhere near enough of a believer to use a crucifix (in fact, it might burn his own hands!), and the only garlic that he carries is on his breath, and while it might be strong, it won't be enough to stop the Vampire. Driving a stake through a vampire's heart is so "pedestrian" and beneath the lawyer to do himself, so he'll call Maria, his undocumented domestic help, to do the job for him. By the time she gets there, though, the Vampire will have awaken and attacked.
While it is true that the Lawyer can survive for a period of time without blood, he won't be able to fight it out against the Vampire's superhuman strength, so this fight is a short one. The only sort of satisfaction that the Lawyer can get (or would have gotten, if he wasn't dead!) is the fact that once the Lawyer's blood enters the Vampire's systems and he starts seeing the images and impressions of the Lawyer's life, he will be filled with shock, disgust, and revulsion over the Lawyer's many unethical and immoral acts that he committed over the years in the pursuit of winning his case. That, along with the enormous flood of guilt that the Lawyer had suppressed all these years might be enough for the Vampire to drive the wooden stake through his heart himself.
However, since we need the Vampire to live to fight at least one more battle, he has been sent to counseling to help him deal with all that, at least long enough to fight in the next round, and maybe even the final round should he last that long.
TODAY'S WINNER: THE VAMPIRE!
Monday, October 11, 2010
Andromeda decks Superman! Whoohoo!
Yes, it's true! In the artwork below, I am decking the Man of Steel himself! So what did Supes do to be decked by yours truly? Well, it's like this...
Just before I decked him, he said to me: "Hey Andromeda. Why are you wearing lead-lined underwea-- oops."
So I decked him and said "I'm telling Lois!" Yes, he's considerably stronger than me, but when properly motivated, I can bloody the nose of even a super man. Aim those x-ray peepers somewhere else, perv! LOL
This awesome piece of art was done by Jhomar Soriano ("That Scruffy Rhōnin Guy"), and that particular artwork can be found here.
Jhomar my friend, you have earned a spot on my list of Cool Links! ----------->
Thanks so much for a great piece of art! :-D
Just before I decked him, he said to me: "Hey Andromeda. Why are you wearing lead-lined underwea-- oops."
So I decked him and said "I'm telling Lois!" Yes, he's considerably stronger than me, but when properly motivated, I can bloody the nose of even a super man. Aim those x-ray peepers somewhere else, perv! LOL
This awesome piece of art was done by Jhomar Soriano ("That Scruffy Rhōnin Guy"), and that particular artwork can be found here.
Jhomar my friend, you have earned a spot on my list of Cool Links! ----------->
Thanks so much for a great piece of art! :-D
Friday, October 8, 2010
The dead, they are busy!
Just the other day, I had mentioned in my socialized medicine blog entry, how the dead vote. Now, apparently, they can also get federal stimulus money! See folks, and you thought I was exaggerating about the dead voting! Apparently, they are not only active, but busier than we thought! However, I gotta wonder if they would qualify for "cost of living" adjustments? LOL (maybe I shouldn't give anyone any ideas...)
Thing is, friends, this does not make me feel any easier about the efficiency of our government. Hell, if they can screw this up, how in the world does anyone think that they can manage a government-run health plan; AKA socialized medicine? If this stupid government run health plan idea gains roots, prepare for the dead to get health care!
Thing is, friends, this does not make me feel any easier about the efficiency of our government. Hell, if they can screw this up, how in the world does anyone think that they can manage a government-run health plan; AKA socialized medicine? If this stupid government run health plan idea gains roots, prepare for the dead to get health care!
First round! HCM vs DPAF!
Okay, it's time for the first fight for the eventual "Who Would Win?" Halloween Showdown!
In this corner, from some undoubtedly dysfunctional family comes... The Homicidal Chainsaw Maniac! Let's just call him HCM for short, even though he is very tall.
Strengths: Very strong, very large size, high tolerance for pain. And lest we forget, he comes bearing a big ol' freakin' chainsaw! His big size is intimidating enough, but add to that the noisy chainsaw and you got one giant, scary dude!
Weaknesses: Slow, lumbering speed. Limited vocal skills - not that he needs them for hacking people to death! Slow thought processes. If his chainsaw is somehow taken from him, then he is less of a threat. Not MUCH less, but it would be easier to stop him if he isn't waving a chainsaw in your face!
And in this corner, from the darkest pits of hell comes ...the Demon-Possessed Action Figure! We'll call him DPAF for short, and he happens to be short to boot! Just don't call him a doll! He is an action figure! There is a difference!
Strengths: Very intelligent and cunning. Due to his small size, he is excellent at hiding in dark corners until his victim is within range. Total immunity to pain, due to the fact that he inhabits a doll's body. Is able to hop to another doll body if the current body is destroyed.
Weaknesses: Due to small size, he is able to be swatted away or thrown if caught in time. And because of his obsessive/compulsive dedication to killing, it makes him predictable in what he plans to do next - not that it makes it much easier to stop him. Also is stuck in the doll body until it is destroyed.
So who would win in this battle of horror movie monsters? Here's my take: Ol' HCM would certainly have his hands full with a small little guy coming at him from all directions (plus he makes a very small target for his big honkin' chainsaw), but DPAF would have a harder time than usual to take down HCM because he can take a lot of pain.
Even if HCM managed to hack DPAF into pieces, the demonic essence can simply hop to another doll and his carnage continues. In theory, DPAF can just keep body-hopping until he wears HCM down. Despite HCM's limited intelligence, however, I think even he would figure out that DPAF is trapped in the doll body until it is destroyed, so he would have to use his brain for once.
My guess is that HCM would use his great strength to hurl DPAF against a wall to stun him long enough to stick him in a box, then he could either bury the box or have it entombed in cement, thus ending this battle. HCM would still probably need to take a lot of time to heal from the multiple stab wounds he got from DPAF, but he would live to hack unsuspecting teens another day.
TODAY'S WINNER: HCM!
In this corner, from some undoubtedly dysfunctional family comes... The Homicidal Chainsaw Maniac! Let's just call him HCM for short, even though he is very tall.
Strengths: Very strong, very large size, high tolerance for pain. And lest we forget, he comes bearing a big ol' freakin' chainsaw! His big size is intimidating enough, but add to that the noisy chainsaw and you got one giant, scary dude!
Weaknesses: Slow, lumbering speed. Limited vocal skills - not that he needs them for hacking people to death! Slow thought processes. If his chainsaw is somehow taken from him, then he is less of a threat. Not MUCH less, but it would be easier to stop him if he isn't waving a chainsaw in your face!
And in this corner, from the darkest pits of hell comes ...the Demon-Possessed Action Figure! We'll call him DPAF for short, and he happens to be short to boot! Just don't call him a doll! He is an action figure! There is a difference!
Strengths: Very intelligent and cunning. Due to his small size, he is excellent at hiding in dark corners until his victim is within range. Total immunity to pain, due to the fact that he inhabits a doll's body. Is able to hop to another doll body if the current body is destroyed.
Weaknesses: Due to small size, he is able to be swatted away or thrown if caught in time. And because of his obsessive/compulsive dedication to killing, it makes him predictable in what he plans to do next - not that it makes it much easier to stop him. Also is stuck in the doll body until it is destroyed.
So who would win in this battle of horror movie monsters? Here's my take: Ol' HCM would certainly have his hands full with a small little guy coming at him from all directions (plus he makes a very small target for his big honkin' chainsaw), but DPAF would have a harder time than usual to take down HCM because he can take a lot of pain.
Even if HCM managed to hack DPAF into pieces, the demonic essence can simply hop to another doll and his carnage continues. In theory, DPAF can just keep body-hopping until he wears HCM down. Despite HCM's limited intelligence, however, I think even he would figure out that DPAF is trapped in the doll body until it is destroyed, so he would have to use his brain for once.
My guess is that HCM would use his great strength to hurl DPAF against a wall to stun him long enough to stick him in a box, then he could either bury the box or have it entombed in cement, thus ending this battle. HCM would still probably need to take a lot of time to heal from the multiple stab wounds he got from DPAF, but he would live to hack unsuspecting teens another day.
TODAY'S WINNER: HCM!
Thursday, October 7, 2010
BSC PSA: I.C.E., I.C.E., Baby...
No, today's BSC PSA is NOT about Vanilla Ice, the rapper from the 1990's, but instead in regards to a suggestion forwarded to me from the boss.
I.C.E. actually stands for "In Case of Emergency". The forwarded e-mail made the suggestion to have in your cellphone the contact with the initials ICE along with the phone number of the person whom you want contacted immediately if your phone is found, or if you are found unconscious. This would especially be helpful to emergency workers who are trying to contact someone about you, in case you have something like diabetes or heart problems.
If you have others who can be contacted if your first contact is not available, then label them ICE2, ICE3, and so forth so that the caller has more than one option to go on if the others don't answer the phone. This could be a life-saving suggestion, so get on it pronto, amigo!
I.C.E. actually stands for "In Case of Emergency". The forwarded e-mail made the suggestion to have in your cellphone the contact with the initials ICE along with the phone number of the person whom you want contacted immediately if your phone is found, or if you are found unconscious. This would especially be helpful to emergency workers who are trying to contact someone about you, in case you have something like diabetes or heart problems.
If you have others who can be contacted if your first contact is not available, then label them ICE2, ICE3, and so forth so that the caller has more than one option to go on if the others don't answer the phone. This could be a life-saving suggestion, so get on it pronto, amigo!
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
Why "socialized medicine" is a stupid idea
Over the weekend, I had one of my usual political discussions with my largely liberal friends. The topic this time: Socialized medicine (SM). Oh, they tried to call it something else - like Obamacare - but in essence they were talking about government run healthcare, which is pretty much SM. I told them that SM was a stupid idea, no matter what noble intents they have in mind, and of course, I explained why! ;-)
Their usual arguments was for the need to insure even the most poor among us; not only that, if I say that I am Christian, then one of my Christian beliefs is to help "the least of my brothers". Such emotional manipulation by liberals is common, and pretty much their only strategy to persuade others into thinking their way. The intent is the manipulate the person into thinking that "if I don't do as they say, then it shows that I'm a mean, heartless bastard, for what good person would deny (victim group) what they most need?", so the person being manipulated capitulates. It's a tactic that liberals have used to great effectiveness for at least four decades.
However, having been raised in such an environment, I am virtually immune to such tactics, so often have I been exposed to it. SM is still a stupid idea, regardless of the emotional propagandizing that is used to get it accepted. For one, if that's what liberals support, then call it what it is: Socialized Medicine. To try to find new terms for the same thing suggests doubt of the purity of what they are trying to peddle us. To try to push something despite the doubts they themselves have about it suggests a con game is afoot. And given that we are talking about the government running health care, the likelihood that a con game is afoot goes up to virtually 100%.
What makes me say that? Because, friends, who will be running the show if we get into government run health care? D.C. politicians and bureaucrats! So what do politicians care most about? Hell no, it's not the well-being of the voters - it's getting re-elected! I was gonna say that "well-being so long as they vote for them" - but hey, the dead have voted too (seriously!), so as long as they get your vote, you can be alive or dead! Once they get power, what's next? Keeping it, of course! So my view is that the Democrats' push for SM is a push for more power. If they can get this show on the road, then they'll further entrench themselves in power more so than they are now.
Such desires for power are paramount - even more than the health of their constituents. Hell, if the health of the constituents gets in the way of the acquiring of even more power, then they'll be allowed to die - that is, unless mandatory euthanasia is also passed. Don't think that they won't try to work that in next! Don't believe me? Which party talks the most about overpopulation: Republicans or Democrats? If all this is still not enough to scare you, then maybe this will: To pass SM is to hand your healthcare over to... lawyers! Do you seriously want your healthcare to be run by a bunch of lawyers?
Now don't get me wrong; I'm not blind to the failures and shortcomings of HMOs; so ultimately our healthcare decisions are based on whether we want to trust a bunch of greedmongers out for a profit (HMOs) or a bunch of powermongers out to score their next reelection (politicians). Either way, we're screwed, it seems. However, if we die, then HMOs get no more profit from us, so it's in the best interests for their bottom line for us to stay as healthy for as long as possible. For liberal politicians however, if we die, then that's one less carbon footprint to worry about. If they succeed in institutionalizing SM, then it's no sweat off of their collective brows whether we live or die, because remember, they can still get our vote even if we're dead!
Ultimately, however, SM is a stupid idea because it will never succeed in getting healthcare to the very poorest among us, because dear friends, there simply isn't enough money to do that with things the way they are now. This is because of the giant boondoggle of a bureaucracy that would be required to run SM, which would only succeed in ensnaring much needed funds in mountains of red tape. Thus, these funds won't reach the poorest of the poor, but only find their way to other "needy" folks - that is, those in need of being reelected. If we really want to get healthcare for the poorest among us (and arguments can certainly be made for why it's to all our benefit to do this, including the previously mentioned Christian belief.), then there are much better ways of doing this without lining the pockets of politicians. I just might make that a separate blog entry.
And last, the final reason that I think the liberals are fullacrap when it comes to their alleged belief in SM is this: If they feel that SM is going to be that beneficial, then get on it too. Here's the kicker, folks, and this is one of the reasons that I ultimately went down the path of conservatism: A lot of liberals are hypocrites, especially the wealthier they are. SM is supposed to be a healthcare utopia, yet they won't go on it if they can help it. Public transportation is supposed to be good because it helps the environment, yet how many ride the city bus? In fact, how many of them have fancy cars, and more than one? Public schools are supposed to be great because it keeps impressionable young people out of the hands of religious idealogues, and yet how many liberal parents send their kids to public schools?
If these things are supposed to be great, then shouldn't these liberals be setting the example for the rest of us by using them? That they don't speaks volumes of what they really believe. Along with not using SM, public transportation, and public schools, they are also not emotionally invested in the success of these things. With no emotional investment, then there is no motivation to make these things better. The rest of us can put up with crappy healthcare, poor public transportation, and failing schools so long as they exist as a shiny badge for the liberals to show off to their liberal friends.
I really, really hope that the upcoming election brings the sort of change that is feared by the Democrats, because it would be unprecedented, as well as shocking to the establishment. And I hope this groundswell carries over to 2012. That would truly be a populist uprising, and one that I could support.
Their usual arguments was for the need to insure even the most poor among us; not only that, if I say that I am Christian, then one of my Christian beliefs is to help "the least of my brothers". Such emotional manipulation by liberals is common, and pretty much their only strategy to persuade others into thinking their way. The intent is the manipulate the person into thinking that "if I don't do as they say, then it shows that I'm a mean, heartless bastard, for what good person would deny (victim group) what they most need?", so the person being manipulated capitulates. It's a tactic that liberals have used to great effectiveness for at least four decades.
However, having been raised in such an environment, I am virtually immune to such tactics, so often have I been exposed to it. SM is still a stupid idea, regardless of the emotional propagandizing that is used to get it accepted. For one, if that's what liberals support, then call it what it is: Socialized Medicine. To try to find new terms for the same thing suggests doubt of the purity of what they are trying to peddle us. To try to push something despite the doubts they themselves have about it suggests a con game is afoot. And given that we are talking about the government running health care, the likelihood that a con game is afoot goes up to virtually 100%.
What makes me say that? Because, friends, who will be running the show if we get into government run health care? D.C. politicians and bureaucrats! So what do politicians care most about? Hell no, it's not the well-being of the voters - it's getting re-elected! I was gonna say that "well-being so long as they vote for them" - but hey, the dead have voted too (seriously!), so as long as they get your vote, you can be alive or dead! Once they get power, what's next? Keeping it, of course! So my view is that the Democrats' push for SM is a push for more power. If they can get this show on the road, then they'll further entrench themselves in power more so than they are now.
Such desires for power are paramount - even more than the health of their constituents. Hell, if the health of the constituents gets in the way of the acquiring of even more power, then they'll be allowed to die - that is, unless mandatory euthanasia is also passed. Don't think that they won't try to work that in next! Don't believe me? Which party talks the most about overpopulation: Republicans or Democrats? If all this is still not enough to scare you, then maybe this will: To pass SM is to hand your healthcare over to... lawyers! Do you seriously want your healthcare to be run by a bunch of lawyers?
Now don't get me wrong; I'm not blind to the failures and shortcomings of HMOs; so ultimately our healthcare decisions are based on whether we want to trust a bunch of greedmongers out for a profit (HMOs) or a bunch of powermongers out to score their next reelection (politicians). Either way, we're screwed, it seems. However, if we die, then HMOs get no more profit from us, so it's in the best interests for their bottom line for us to stay as healthy for as long as possible. For liberal politicians however, if we die, then that's one less carbon footprint to worry about. If they succeed in institutionalizing SM, then it's no sweat off of their collective brows whether we live or die, because remember, they can still get our vote even if we're dead!
Ultimately, however, SM is a stupid idea because it will never succeed in getting healthcare to the very poorest among us, because dear friends, there simply isn't enough money to do that with things the way they are now. This is because of the giant boondoggle of a bureaucracy that would be required to run SM, which would only succeed in ensnaring much needed funds in mountains of red tape. Thus, these funds won't reach the poorest of the poor, but only find their way to other "needy" folks - that is, those in need of being reelected. If we really want to get healthcare for the poorest among us (and arguments can certainly be made for why it's to all our benefit to do this, including the previously mentioned Christian belief.), then there are much better ways of doing this without lining the pockets of politicians. I just might make that a separate blog entry.
And last, the final reason that I think the liberals are fullacrap when it comes to their alleged belief in SM is this: If they feel that SM is going to be that beneficial, then get on it too. Here's the kicker, folks, and this is one of the reasons that I ultimately went down the path of conservatism: A lot of liberals are hypocrites, especially the wealthier they are. SM is supposed to be a healthcare utopia, yet they won't go on it if they can help it. Public transportation is supposed to be good because it helps the environment, yet how many ride the city bus? In fact, how many of them have fancy cars, and more than one? Public schools are supposed to be great because it keeps impressionable young people out of the hands of religious idealogues, and yet how many liberal parents send their kids to public schools?
If these things are supposed to be great, then shouldn't these liberals be setting the example for the rest of us by using them? That they don't speaks volumes of what they really believe. Along with not using SM, public transportation, and public schools, they are also not emotionally invested in the success of these things. With no emotional investment, then there is no motivation to make these things better. The rest of us can put up with crappy healthcare, poor public transportation, and failing schools so long as they exist as a shiny badge for the liberals to show off to their liberal friends.
I really, really hope that the upcoming election brings the sort of change that is feared by the Democrats, because it would be unprecedented, as well as shocking to the establishment. And I hope this groundswell carries over to 2012. That would truly be a populist uprising, and one that I could support.
Sunday, October 3, 2010
A month-long "Who Would Win?" Halloween Showdown!
Yes, as the new blog banner says, it's going to be a month-long "Who Would Win?" Halloween Showdown!
In case you don't already know, my "Who Would Win?" segments are my discussions of various parties pitted against each other, and I speculate on whom I think would win. This time, in the spirit of Halloween, I am trying a new format in which I pit 8 creatures in a bracket format to conclude with the final two on Halloween! So let's meet the contestants and their opponents for this first round!
First up is the Homicidal Chainsaw Maniac (HCM), who is what I just said he is: a crazed killer with a chainsaw! He is pitted against that vicious tiny terror, the Demon-Possessed Action Figure (DPAF)! Holy cow! It's the Saw vs. the Doll! It's sure to be a bloody fight!
Next is the classic battle for nerds everywhere! First up is the mysterious assassin, the Ninja! He skulks in dark corners to strike when the moment is right! He is pitted against the drunken ferocity of the Pirate! Despite his drunken stupor, he is still not one to trifle with! It's a clash of swords to finally settle the question that nerds have debated since the dawn of time! (okay, I'm exaggerating that just a bit...)
The third match pits the creepy Zombie against the savage Wolfman! The Zombie possesses an unstoppable will to consume brains, while the Wolfman is hell with fangs and claws! The fur and the corpse dust is sure to fly as the unstoppable bestial force battles the immovable undead object in this clash that is sure to be one for the ages!
And last, but certainly not least is the battle that will have you drooling! In this corner is the nocturnal terror, the Vampire! He vants to suck your blood! Bleh! Bleh! And in this corner is the monster of the courtroom, the Lawyer! Great galloping ghouls, this guy is probably the scariest one of all! It's the Fang vs the Summons, and the outcome is just too close to call!
Over the next few weeks, these monsters will fight to the finish until four are left standing. Then it's on to the semis when the Final Four will fight it out until two are left. Then come Halloween, our final two contestants will duel it out to see who is the scariest monster of all! So come one, come all! Make your bets and get ready to discuss and debate until the cows come home! The action begins later this week! Whoohoo!
So are you ready???? :-D
In case you don't already know, my "Who Would Win?" segments are my discussions of various parties pitted against each other, and I speculate on whom I think would win. This time, in the spirit of Halloween, I am trying a new format in which I pit 8 creatures in a bracket format to conclude with the final two on Halloween! So let's meet the contestants and their opponents for this first round!
First up is the Homicidal Chainsaw Maniac (HCM), who is what I just said he is: a crazed killer with a chainsaw! He is pitted against that vicious tiny terror, the Demon-Possessed Action Figure (DPAF)! Holy cow! It's the Saw vs. the Doll! It's sure to be a bloody fight!
Next is the classic battle for nerds everywhere! First up is the mysterious assassin, the Ninja! He skulks in dark corners to strike when the moment is right! He is pitted against the drunken ferocity of the Pirate! Despite his drunken stupor, he is still not one to trifle with! It's a clash of swords to finally settle the question that nerds have debated since the dawn of time! (okay, I'm exaggerating that just a bit...)
The third match pits the creepy Zombie against the savage Wolfman! The Zombie possesses an unstoppable will to consume brains, while the Wolfman is hell with fangs and claws! The fur and the corpse dust is sure to fly as the unstoppable bestial force battles the immovable undead object in this clash that is sure to be one for the ages!
And last, but certainly not least is the battle that will have you drooling! In this corner is the nocturnal terror, the Vampire! He vants to suck your blood! Bleh! Bleh! And in this corner is the monster of the courtroom, the Lawyer! Great galloping ghouls, this guy is probably the scariest one of all! It's the Fang vs the Summons, and the outcome is just too close to call!
Over the next few weeks, these monsters will fight to the finish until four are left standing. Then it's on to the semis when the Final Four will fight it out until two are left. Then come Halloween, our final two contestants will duel it out to see who is the scariest monster of all! So come one, come all! Make your bets and get ready to discuss and debate until the cows come home! The action begins later this week! Whoohoo!
So are you ready???? :-D
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